 | | Now THAT's Funny!
Humorous, hilarious, amusing, uproarious, droll, and zany. There’s only one place to get jokes with these adjectives: The Old Farmer’s Almanac. |  | Dear Reader,
Times used to be that The Old Farmer’s Almanac only published once per year. We’d write, compile, sweat, check, look to the stars, look to the Moon and Sun, study the planets, study the wind, write some more, check some more, then print the oldest continuously published periodical in North America. Then this newfangled thing called the World Wide Web knocked on our door, and in 2015, along with the annual Old Farmer’s Almanac that’s been beloved since 1792, we began sending our readers a monthly digital magazine: The Old Farmer’s Almanac EXTRA!
Of course, you know the Almanac for weather predictions, farming and planting guides, and astronomical tables. But since its very inception, the Almanac has set a goal to be “useful, with a pleasant degree of humor.” Needless to say, when you publish a periodical for 230 years, you collect more than a few riddles, jokes, and humorous stories. And now with EXTRA!, we can share so many more of them with you! Here are a few favorites: | | | | | Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. However, all of the records of their league were unfortunately destroyed in a fire. Thus we’ll never know for whom the Tells bowled. | | | | Teacher: “Which little boy can tell me where the home of the swallow is?”
Small boy: “In the stomach?” | | | | | Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie! | | | | Back in Old England, two gentlemen were walking down the street when one stumbled over a mop bucket that had been left out. “My dear friend,” exclaimed the other, “I lament your death exceedingly.”
“My death?!”
“Why, yes–you have just kicked the bucket.”
“Not so,” rejoined the first. “I have only turned a little pail.” | | | | Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.”
“I don’t believe you,” says Dolly.
“It’s true. No bull!” exclaimed Daisy. | | | | Ready to be a hit at your next gathering? Want to humor your guests and get a few good laughs? Making plans to regale your friends with witty stories and punny quips? You’ll find 70 + issues of EXTRA! and hundreds more Grins and Groans from the Almanac when you join The Old Farmer’s Almanac Club!
P.S. You can use as many jokes as you want. We won’t tell anyone where you got them! | | | The Hole Truth About The Classic Almanac | When your 2022 edition of The Old Farmer’s Almanac arrives at your door, you might wonder - Why is there a hole in my Almanac? The classic edition of The Old Farmer’s Almanac, isn’t just any periodical, though. Here’s the hole story. Or should we say the whole hole story?
Shortly after the Almanac debuted in the late 1700s, readers would use a nail to punch a hole in the top left-hand corner of their copy. Then they would tie a string through the hole and hang the Almanac in a handy place, such as the kitchen, the barn, or even in the outhouse.
We were able to introduce this fabulous idea into our production once the technology was there to do it on a large scale. So for the last 100 years or so, the classic edition of The Old Farmer’s Almanac comes with a hole. Just like readers from two centuries ago, you can tie the Almanac to your belt, hang it up in your bathroom, or tie it to your telescope so all that valuable information you want is right there when you need it! | | By The Numbers | Okay, so we know what’s not in The Old Farmer’s Almanac: Tiny round pieces of paper from the upper left corner. (Don’t worry. They get recycled.) Now what is in there? All the things you’d expect, of course: weather predictions, the tides, a schedule of eclipses, meteor showers, and bright stars, recipes, gardening tips and ideas, astrology, and folklore.
What else? Here’s a sampling of some fun facts, figures, and trends you can look forward to reading about in the Almanac. - 1.7% of Canadians grow all of the fruit and vegetables that they eat.
- 23.1 million U.S. adults have converted some lawn to a natural or wildflower landscape.
- Wild bee pollination contributes $1.5 billion of value to seven U.S. crops.
- There’s a 20% increase in yield of almond trees that are bee-pollinated.
- There are approximately 600,000 vegans in Canada.
- Americans eat 530 between-meal snacks per capita each year.
Pretty interesting stuff, yes? Here are two more to think about. Do you know how many U.S. consumers snack all day rather than eating meals? Or do you know how many Canadian consumers never eat food past its expiration date? Check out the 2022 Trends in the latest edition of The Old Farmer’s Almanac to find out!
If you’re feeling like tickling that funny bone, if you want a little wit with your wisdom, if you enjoy a pun party, you’ll want to join The Old Farmer’s Almanac Club right away. You get the Classic Edition of The 2022 Old Farmer’s Almanac, a peek back through time with replicas of the 1922 and 1822 Almanacs, your personal Digital Local Almanac, with detailed information based on your location, the 2022 Weather Wall Calendar, the 2022 Country Wall Calendar, monthly updates to help you track earthly and celestial events, and The Old Farmer’s Almanac EXTRA! | | | | | Get Your Special Pass—Access to the World's Most Beloved Almanac! |
| | | With your membership in the Old Farmer’s Almanac Club, you’ll get all of the wit and wisdom you’ve come to expect from the oldest continuously published periodical in North America. Since 1792, the Almanac has been the source for fun and practical ideas about gardening, farming, cooking, astronomy, and more, all with the goal of being “useful, but with a pleasant degree of humor.”
With the Old Farmer's Almanac Club membership, you'll learn more about: - Flowers and herbs you can plant to attract butterflies and hummingbirds
- Substitutes for common ingredients, so you'll never need to worry about running out of baking powder, balsamic vinegar, or eggs again
- The best days each month for your activities, from baking to brewing to asking for a loan to harvesting above-ground crops
- The interesting story of a high school student who designed the current American flag
- Where and when to spot constellations that have captured the imagination of humanity for thousands of years
You'll also get updates to our weather predictions in our monthly digital magazine, EXTRA!, sent to you each month to keep you current on changing weather and conditions. Don't miss out! | | | | | Get Your Special Pass—Access to the World's Most Beloved Almanac! |
| | | | NEW FOR 2022! | | Get full access to everything under the Sun, including the Moon, weather, vegetable and flower gardening, folklore, nature, home remedies, and more—with your Old Farmer's Almanac Club Charter Membership! | This exciting club is designed especially for you—and it's packed with articles, advice, best days, and fun facts!
Your Charter Membership gives you all the elements of a true almanac—a "calendar of the heavens" and a "time capsule of the year" for 2022, plus some fantastic bonuses when you join today. More about those bonuses in a minute.
Since 1792—in fact, every day since!—The Old Farmer's Almanac has been trusted and enjoyed by folks from all walks of life: People who grow their own food depend on the planting dates; home cooks, gardeners, and folks hungry for something quick and delicious love the recipes; just about everybody checks on the Moon phases and sunrise and set times … as well as the weather forecasts … to know what to expect on any given day, week, month, or season.
With your Old Farmer's Almanac Club Charter Membership, you'll have content that is both useful and humorous. You'll discover quirky facts, timeless adages and advice, amusing quotes and profound proverbs, contests, anecdotes and pleasantries, best days to do things (from fishing to weaning from planting to setting eggs, for example), and so much more! | | NEW FOR 2022!
Now accepting pre-sale orders!
Get 49% off Charter Membership in the Old Farmer's Almanac Club! | | | Save 49% when you claim your Old Farmer's Almanac Club Charter Membership—become a Charter Member today! | | | | People always ask how and why our Almanac has lasted—and continues to be a best seller. The answer is simple: We stay true to the original mission of founder Robert B. Thomas, who declared in an early edition, "Our main endeavour is to be useful, with a pleasant degree of humor."
We believe that, especially in today's trying times, finding humor and enjoyment in daily life can be uplifting, and we hope you like our light-hearted fun and find the joy in chuckling at our witty words.
This will make you smile, too: Every edition of The Old Farmer's Almanac is fresh, new, and designed to make the new year one of the best ever. How do we do that? With entertaining and informative articles. With your Charter Membership, you'll be able to read about:
- Hot trends for 2022: Forecasts, facts, and fascinating ideas that define our life and times, including the future of farming, a new farming buzzword to add to your vocabulary, tech tools for farmers, new veggie varieties to watch for, and more!
- Small-Space Gardening: Hang a planter, get a harvest.
- Going Natural: Some gardeners are walking on the rewilding side.
- Healthy Eating: More meat-free alternatives, restaurant-level food at home, and where to find a quick (and healthy!) bite on the road.
- Flavor Craving: Try familiar flavors in new, innovative ways.
- Pampered Pets: Pet-size Murphy beds, hands-free leashes, tastier pet food.
- And more—almost 300 pages of riveting content!
Plus, charts, maps, and photos bring it all to life for you—making every article and every table easy to understand and follow.
But that's just the beginning! Here's just some of what else you'll discover in the 2022 Almanac: - Your Health Outlook: Food as medicine, adaptable sleepwear, faster healing.
- Remains to Be Seen: People have been preserving pets, wild animals—even other people—for millennia. Read about the ones still on display and where you can see them.
- The Tooth, the Whole Tooth, and Nothing But the Tooth: History, superstitions, myths, facts, and some of the strangest toothache cures we've ever heard.
- Beyond the Pumpkin Patch: Check out the Heirloom Hall of Fame for inspiration to plant squash and pumpkins that are anything but ordinary.
- The Art and Science of Animal Tracking: Get closer to nature when you learn to read the signs our wild friends leave behind.
- Nature's Signs Mean Fish on Lines: Whatever the season, there are telltale signs you can look for to find the perfect fishing spot.
- The Star-Spangled School Project: Meet the industrious student who designed our current American flag.
- Beyond the Boards: Get a look behind the scenes of the legendary Canada-Soviet hockey summit, and find out how boxing factored into the competition on ice.
- Fine-Tune Your Family Tree: 10 simple tips for digging down deep to reach all of your roots!
- What, the Hail?: Track the formation and destructive power of these balls of ice that can be as small as a BB or bigger than a softball.
- All this and too much more to mention for nearly 300 pages of riveting content!
| | NEW FOR 2022!
Now accepting pre-sale orders!
Get 49% off Charter Membership in the Old Farmer's Almanac Club! | | | Save 49% when you claim your Old Farmer's Almanac Club Charter Membership—become a Charter Member today! | | | | | An Old Farmer's Almanac Club Charter Membership will deliver exciting rewards for you—and for a special rate right now, to all new Charter Members. | When you join today, you'll ensure that you get the latest details about Almanac events and forecasts—and you'll enjoy all these benefits:
- Your best garden ever—Almanac gardening advice, planting dates, time-saving tips, and detailed guidance from experts will get you growing like never before.
- You'll know in advance about every important astronomical event in 2022—when they're happening, where in the sky, and the details and delights of each one.
- You'll have access to the world's best source of Almanac content—from astronomy and weather to anniversaries and milestone dates; from important (and little known) holidays and religious events to traditional days in calendar folklore.
- You'll save time and money when you follow all the practical advice and tips that we deliver to you about everything from gardening to food preparation and cooking.
- You'll be a weather expert in your family and circle of friends—no one else you know will have the detailed knowledge about forecasting and weather that you'll have . . . and for every region of the country!
| | How can you not consider becoming an Old Farmer's Almanac Charter Member? | | What you'll get with an Old Farmer's Almanac Club Charter Membership. | When you claim your Old Farmer’s Almanac Club Charter Membership today, your Charter membership will include:
- The Old Farmer’s Almanac: 2022 Classic Paperback Edition—This version of the Almanac comes with a pre-drilled hole in the corner so you can hang it for easy access in your kitchen or potting shed. It’s packed with everything you’ve come to expect in the world’s premier Almanac.
- The Old Farmer's Almanac: 2022 Digital Edition—Everything you love about the Almanac, and then some. It’s portable and printable! Need to check the tides while you’re on the road? It's all just a click away!
- The Old Farmer's Almanac: Your Local Almanac—Get detailed information about where you live—specific sunrise/sunset times, moonrise/moonset times, and more from our calendar of the heavens.
- The Old Farmer’s Almanac 2022 Weather Wall Calendar—Enjoy stunning photography of spectacular weather around the world month after month.
- The Old Farmer’s Almanac 1822 Replica Digest—A printed version will be shipped to you with your order. Take a trip down memory lane and see what one of our early Almanacs looked like! It’s a time capsule of life 200 years ago!
- The Old Farmer’s Almanac 1922 Replica Digest—A printed version will be shipped to you with your order. Another classic Almanac, this takes you back a century: Compare the content then and now!
- The Old Farmer’s Almanac EXTRA!—A treasure trove of digital updates and Almanac content not found in the printed edition.
- BONUS: Complete access to our EXTRA! library, with 60+ digital issues at your fingertips any time!
- BONUS: The Old Farmer's Almanac 2022 Country Wall Calendar—If you love the country, you'll feel right at home with these stunning photographs from top photographers.
| And all of this is available to you—right now—when you claim your Old Farmer's Almanac Club Charter Membership.
What are you waiting for? This Charter Membership offer is in effect for you right now!
No other Almanac has so many fun and fascinating facts, timely and accurate events and predictions, and topical and useful articles all in one place for your easy access and use—and covering more regions of North America than any other almanac or resource! | | | Save 49% when you claim your Old Farmer's Almanac Club Charter Membership—become a Charter Member today! | | | | | Why not join right now? | Gardeners, weather and sky watchers, and nature lovers everywhere have been enjoying The Old Farmer's Almanac for generations, and now it's easier than ever for YOU to experience it all with an Old Farmer's Almanac Club Charter Membership.
When we created this new club for folks like you, we wanted to make it easy to use, easy to order, and packed with content and value—that's why we named it the "Old Farmer's Almanac Club"! The Almanac is the ultimate resource for gardening, astronomy, folklore, nature, and more, and now it can be all yours with your Old Farmer's Almanac Club Charter Membership. | | | | Special Pre-Sale Offer is Now in Effect — 49% Discount!
When you respond today, you'll be among a select group of Almanac friends to take advantage of this special Charter Membership offer.
Activate your Charter Membership in The Old Farmer's Almanac Club today, and you'll get access to unique Almanac content that you can't find anywhere else!
Join other weather and astronomy watchers, gardeners, nature and food lovers, and trivia fans—for 49% off when you respond today!
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